Gentle Readers, Careless Whisperers, and Fellow Traveling Wilburys:

You may have noticed things are a bit more lively on the blog these days. Let me mansplain.

FIRST–The reanimated corpses of Drs. Wheeler and Clauson have been, well, reanimated. Dr. Haymond and I embarked on an extended expedition. Our task? To discover the precise, semi-final resting places of our beloved colleagues. We were eventually forced to dig through a layer of permafrost to unearth a cavern populated with frozen doctorate holders* and other, random elites. We studied the various forms to deduce which, of the many, were indeed Drs. Wheeler and Clauson. At one point we improperly thawed what turned out to be Richard Nixon’s head. Picture? (Courtesy of Futurama).

The former president was none too pleased to be awoken. We told him the current occupant of the White House had paid mistresses, threatened the news media, and referred to North Korea’s leader as “Rocket Man.”

“Well, he’s being impeached, right?” Even while in a subzero cavern, and encased in formaldehyde, the former president was sweaty, on the verge of rage.

“Uh, not exactly, Mr. President.”

“Well, he must be a Democrat,” Nixon screamed. “They would have never impeached Jack Kennedy for that stuff.”

As Dr. Haymond and I silently exchanged glances, confirming his worst fear, Nixon succumbed, again, gurgling. “Too soon. Too soon. I was president too soon…” Now, truly, we will never have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.**

We eventually discovered Dr. Wheeler’s resting place. He was buried in an unbecoming shade of orange. Dr. Clauson’s popsicle was recognizable because through the ice we noticed that one shoe was partially destroyed in the toe region, likely due to some unspeakable creature’s gnawing.

Upon being reanimated, Drs. Clauson and Wheeler immediately began to blog, which is perfectly natural.

SECOND–we have some authors to welcome to the blog. Justin Lyons is a new colleague in the Department of History & Government here at Cedarville. He is a political philosopher and a lover of all things Winston Churchill, literature, and popular culture from the 1980s. He plans to contribute in between screenings of Thundarr the Barbarian. (Yes, I remember this show. Yes, I may have watched it a time or fifty. My life would be complete if I had an Ookla the Mok Halloween costume. For the show’s golden introduction, go here.)

Also, we welcome Stanley Schwartz to the mix. Stanley, soon to be doctor, his honor, and lord high protector of the realm, is a recent graduate of Cedarville University. I think, as I have noted elsewhere, Stanley’s first peer-reviewed publication was in utero. It was called, “A Faction of One: In Search of a Minority to Tyrannize,” and it was published by The Amniotic Historical Review. Stanley pens the Weekly Sage column, which highlights important, but perhaps lesser known, thinkers and their contributions to the life of the mind.

Finally, you may have noticed Matt Beal’s Marvelous Majestic Malodorous Mailbag, which will run on Mondays, magnificently, for the foreseeable future. Also a recent Cedarville graduate, Matt hopes to address questions posed by viewers and readers. He specializes in Near Eastern Philosophy, Medieval Party Games, and the Evolution of the Floppy Disk. If you have a query, about these or other things, send it to mailbag.bereans@gmail.com. Also, be very, very careful of what you say around Mr. Beal. He has a well-earned reputation for publishing the musings of anyone in the vicinity. I myself have been victimized several times. Matt has sticky ears.

Also, I’ll have a go at this: Hey, Matt! If forced to choose, what is the best political film ever made?

*How, exactly, does one tell the difference between a frozen doctorate holder and a living doctorate holder? The frozen one typically has more personality.

**Unless you count the few soccer-like exchanges that took place with his head before we left the cavern. So, technically, we did have Dick Nixon to kick around for a few more moments, but, alas, we no longer now have the opportunity to kick Dick Nixon around any more.