Matt’s Marvelous Mailbag seeks to provide marginally adequate answers to much better questions about politics, economics, social life, theology, or any potpourri you see fit to have answered. Send questions to mailbag.bereans@gmail.com.  

Well, as one of the questioners in today’s mailbag put it: The flow of events in the Commonwealth continues to create cause for pondering.  Indeed it does; to business then.

Q: John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough, 1st Prince of Mindelheim, 1st Count of Nellenburg, Prince of the Holy Roman Empire, Order of the Garter, Member of Her Majesty’s Most Honourable Privy Council asks: “What’s your opinion of the squishy terminology in Christian relationships these days? Would we be better off making categories like “just friends,” or “getting to know each other,” or “dating,” more formal and well understood, or scrapping them altogether? Or do they work well?

A: First off, I must admit that I have definitely created a perverse incentive for my readers to extend their titles ad infinitum.  Pretty soon, this page is just going to be rebranded as “The Collected Works of Long-Winded Dead People.” Now, to the question, I realize that cultures change over time, and this certainly does not mean that a shift in the language or mode of relationships is not automatically a negative thing.  Difference should not be demeaned just on difference alone. That being said, I think I am biased a priori against the current ‘squishiness’ for two reasons.

First, I’ve long joked with friends that I was born in the wrong generation, and that I would have been far more at home in the ’30s, ’40s and early ’50s (culture-wise, mind you).  My favorite singers are Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, my second-favorite movie is Casablanca, and I still play music from a record player I have in my bedroom.  I also think that was a brief period in time where the pendulum was passing through the ideal spot for courting and dating.  Prior to that, it was too stiff.  After that, it got too loose.  I understand that we get unduly nostalgic about the past, but I stand my ground.  If you want proof, go watch the movies from that time period and compare them with what came after.  It’s often referred to as the ‘Golden Era’ of Hollywood, and I can see why.  At no other time in American history did the films so excellently capture the spirit of the dance that was romance.   My uncle used to put it like this: “Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall never took one article of clothing off each other, but they just oozed sex.”  A bit blunt perhaps, but insightful I think.

Second, The story of how my parents came together is quite the wild ride, but, even in the lengthiest retelling of it, you have a clear sense of what their status was at each stage.  It was friends, dating, married.  1. 2. 3. Done.  That being the type of story I was raised on, the complexity of terminology today is a little distressing to my simple mind.  I’ve never been on the cutting edge of pop culture, and more than once I’ve found myself squinting with one eye and keeping a puzzled look with the other as my inner old man grumbles, “Grrr, these kids nowadays with their newfangled terminologicals.”

So, with that being my experience, we still don’t have a full answer to this question, and I’m not sure I can give a very good one honestly.  This is my third rewrite of this paragraph, and I’m coming to the conclusion that the utility of such language is probably somewhat individual-dependent, but here’s what I will say.  I think it is wise to keep the categories to a minimum so that we don’t abstract too far away from the ultimate aim of marriage to one person.  You have to be aware that anytime you flip your status with someone to the romantic, you are opening up new emotional bonds that even the strongest of friends do not have.  That’s a glorious thing but not if they’re constantly snapped.  I’m a firm believer that exclusivity is the singularly best contributor to a healthy, romantic relationship, thus why the ‘squishiness’ may not be a particularly wise course to follow, particularly if it never gets formally resolved.  I’m not saying that dating multiple people before you find a spouse is guaranteed to hamstring your marriage.  I am cautioning people to be very careful about playing around with romance.  It’s a dreadfully powerful thing to just toss about.  One of the most confusing things to me as a high schooler was the notion that people should ‘date for practice.’  Sorry, but I refuse to consider it a wonderful idea to practice leading two souls together in the most deeply and intricately knit of fabrics before ripping them apart like it was part of a exercise regiment.

In short: When or if you date, be direct, be honest, and be exclusive.  Follow those principles, and I highly doubt you’ll have a problem with squishy terminology.

Q: John also asks: “Favorite traditional Christmas carol and favorite modern (20th-21st century) Christmas song?”

A: My favorite modern one most certainly has to be ‘Silver Bells.’  It’s bundled up with Christmas themes, paints a lovely musical picture, and has a great tune to boot.

As for my favorite traditional Christmas carol, I have two that kind of share the top spot.  The first one is ‘O Come, O Come Emmanuel,’ which is beautifully Messianic in its lyrics.  What I think makes it so great is the way in which it spans the spectrum of emotions.  It’s very mournful as the remnant calls for its Savior to come and ransom them from the snares of the world, yet the underlying joy is palpable as the remnant realizes the ‘already, but not yet’ aspect of having the firstfruits of that ransom.

The second one is “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” which I think is best described as such: It descends perilously close to nihilism before exploding into immeasurable, eternal joy.  I am by no means the crying type, perhaps symptomatic of my naturally bubbly personality, but, full disclosure, I get a little blubbery and misty-eyed when this one rolls around.  If the last stanza doesn’t grab you by the heart and scream, “Hallelujah!!!” you have no soul.

Q: John finally asks: “Any thoughts on what is happening in North Carolina’s 9th district? What’s your more general perspective on the constitutional dynamics of the House getting to decide (potentially) to seat?”

A: Let’s have a revote and be done with this.  It’s not going to alter the balance of power in a significant way, and there is a credible case to be made that an operative in Mark Harris’s camp swung the election his way via fraudulent means.  The North Carolina law makes it clear that we can a have a new election if the outcome is credibly in doubt, and, for the sake of electoral integrity, it’s probably best to have the revote.  Though, I do find it amusing that Democrats, after dismissing the issue of election fraud for so many years, are suddenly convinced the sky is falling over this issue.  Fair enough in the case of NC-9, but where was this “outrage” over the integrity of our elections when the now appropriately disgraced Al Franken took his Senate seat under dubious (at best) circumstances in 2008?  That was a far more consequential result than NC-9.  Election fraud isn’t the biggest issue facing our country, but it is a real problem.  Hopefully, both parties will accept this as a pertinent reality now.

As for the more general perspective, I don’t know what else to say other than we would have to accept the result the House came to.  Fans may not like an umpire in the moment when his call goes against their team, but the game won’t go on otherwise.

Q: Nathan asks: “What are your thoughts on the new Lion King not including ‘Be Prepared’ because of the original’s Nazi imagery during the song?”

A: Well, first of all, this question prompted me to revisit my childhood for a moment as I realized I had forgotten this song, so kudos to you for reviving its memory.  Rewatching the song from the original, the Nazi imagery is pretty blatant, and it’s probably deliberate as well given that Scar is a really nasty dude in the film.  Honestly, I don’t have a problem with the remake removing the song for whatever reason they want.  It’s their creative decision to make, and, if they think that the Nazi imagery will detract from the film, that’s their choice to make.  It is possible that they are removing the song because the actor for Scar is not a singer, though I suspect the former reason had more influence on that decision.  In another part of the question you asked if this was an example of PC culture going too far.  Maybe, but I don’t think this is the type of battle we want to fight.  At absolute worst, these are symptoms not causes.  The conservative movement has a limited amount of resources to go around, and I don’t really want to spend my time fighting to keep Nazi images in a children’s film.  It’s not worth it, and it’s not a good look for us either.  Moreover, it’s entirely possible that’s it’s a good decision not to include the Nazi imagery in the film given our current cultural context.  I simply don’t know.  My suggestion: Let the audience sort this one out.

Q: Nathan also asks: “Does not Scar’s rise to power in some ways reflect the danger of socialism. Scar promises the Hyenas equality with the lions and that “stick with me and you will never go hungry again.” But the reality of what happens is that everyone suffers and even the Hyenas, who are still hungry, admit under their breath that they thought things were better under Mufasa.”

A: Well, Disney probably didn’t intend it that way, but I think you can make a reasonable typology in this instance.  Actually, the “Be Prepared” song actually does a bang-up job of showing an abbreviated form of that process.  Scar tells the hyenas that they’re going to kill the king, to which the hyenas reply: “Hooray, no king!  Down with the king,” after which Scar replies, “No, you fools, I’m going to be king,” and the hyenas reply, “Oh, ok, long live the new king!” What an appropriate example of what inevitably happens under socialism.

Q: Shelly asks: “What are your thoughts on the ‘Urban effect’ and pending retirement with Ryan Day taking over as head coach of the Buckeyes?”

A: I’ve wondered if Urban Meyer could have retired this season and the team would have been fine.  Meyer’s reign definitely peaked with the ’14-’15 season/championship, and he’s been on the downhill ever since.  Watching the Buckeyes in the first three games, I had no qualms about watching Ryan Day just make mincemeat of his opponents, and he’s been OSU’s offensive coordinator since Urban returned, so let’s not forget who really engineered that dissection of the #1 defense in the country (referring of course to TTUN).  From a pure “skills” perspective, I doubt the Buckeyes are losing much with Urban’s departure, maybe even gaining something in Ryan Day.  My concerns for them moving forward are twofold:

1. The main thing the Buckeyes lose with Urban’s retirement is his ethos.  Ryan Day may be highly skilled, but he’ll have to build his legacy from the ground up.  More than a couple of players came to Ohio State specifically because they wanted to play for Urban Meyer, which is an intangible that Ryan Day will have to build on his own.  But, hey, a championship here, a bowl win or two there, and maybe we’re doing just as well as we did under Meyer.
2. The ‘X’ factor at present is Dwayne Haskins.  If he sticks around, Ryan Day’s first full season as head coach becomes measurably easier as he’ll have not just a great QB, but a clear player-leader.  If Haskins leaves, we could be in for a rougher season, probably not disastrous, but rougher.  One of the many causes for OSU’s rocky 2018 season was the loss of Nick Bosa as both leader and star player, and I fear the same thing could happen if Haskins opts for the draft.  He’s certainly got the credentials to go 1st round, and there are financial considerations to account for, but we can certainly hope and pray for him to stick around just one more year.

Q: Shelly also asks: “What culinary sides go best with smoked turkey for a fine Christmas feast.”

A: Ah, yes, Christmas dinner…the good times doth approach.  My go-to for sides is most certainly green bean casserole above all else, but I’m also a fan of baked beans, stuffing, and mashed potatoes as the main sides.  For the other accoutrements, add coleslaw, veggie trays, and some chip and dip combo.  As for the desserts, cheesecake, pecan pie, and Lofthouse cookies haven’t steered me wrong yet.  In short, just load up the starch and let the tryptophan/carb overload combo do the rest.

Looks like a good place to stop for this week.  We’ll have one more mailbag next week, after which we’ll have a 1-2 week Christmas hiatus, though feel free to keep sending your questions in during that time (mailbag.bereans@gmail.com).