The Bullington Diatribe Chronicles will run occasionally for the amusement of some, the facepalming of many others, and the inconvenience of all. The following is satire….obviously.

On June 5, a petition was started to cancel 2020, which gathered several million signatures before being sent to the heavenly courts. Bereans at the Gate has obtained the divine reply for your viewing pleasure.

Office of Earthly Matters
Natural and Prescripted Disasters Division
Ministry of Restitution and Judgment
Cornelius Weatherby, Ranking Member
June 12, 2020

Dearest Earth,

“We have received your petition postmarked June 7, 2020 and delivered via multiple mediums including but not limited to: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WeChat, several other social media sites, local conversations between friends, private thoughts, prayers, offhanded remarks, mobs, protests, and the U.S. Post Office. Though we appreciate your concern for humanity and your diligence in seeking to save it from enduring the rest of what you describe as ‘hell on earth’ on page 3 of your letter, we regret to inform you that we are unable at this time to cancel, rescind, or in any other way modify the events of 2020 so far as they relate to things belonging to that domain which you mortals refer to as ‘the past.’ This would constitute a severe violation of not only the puzzling human concept of ‘time’ but would also involve several logistical challenges which the ministry believes at this moment would hasten otherwise foreordained plans beyond their proper scope as prescribed by the Office of Trinitarian Majesty, as well as having the unfortunate effect of proscribing this Office’s 2020 plans for grace. The results of this proscription being eternal, we feel it is in the best of interest of the ministry not to interfere on this account alone, though we would like to highlight several other reasons reinforcing our decision.

In the first place, your petition makes reference to the ‘unfair’ and ‘painful’ nature of the events surrounding this particular year. While we here at the ministry wholeheartedly understand the emotions behind this sentiment, we have determined this complaint is regrettably ill-informed and holds no merit. A brief consultation with our friends in the Office of History has confirmed our suspicion that this complaint is based on two fundamental flaws, namely (1) an ignorance of mankind’s universal suffering since the proliferation of evil upon the earth by divine and human rebels, and (2) a profound ingratitude for this generation’s position in the most blessed and prosperous time in human history. Your lot in life being therefore rather unique only as regards its prosperity and success, we find the complaint of scant substance in actuality and therefore refer it to our Office of Perspective and Learning for consideration.

Second, we remind you once again of your position as divine imagers tasked with spreading the good work of the Office of Trinitarian Majesty, part of which involves a partial endowment of free will and control over the conditions of earth proper. As such, your request to cancel 2020 would involve a complete abrogation of this endowment, a proposition frequently discussed in High Council meetings but heretofore not enacted for matters which some in the Holy Realm continue to see as puzzling given the current results of this policy. Internal dissent aside, we write to stress the importance of your actions in conjunction with those of the several councils, high and low, in expanding the good work of the Office of Trinitarian Majesty and in combating the effects of evil and chaos upon this world. Failure to do so will result in consequences natural and inflicted for the express purpose of containing the expansion of what you aptly describe as ‘hell on earth’ and the upending of the created order into unlivable anarchy.

Third, we find the complaint lodged here to be in direct conflict with several previous requests, both expressly and implicitly stated, for the Office of Trinitarian Majesty to halt its operations within the earthly sphere for reasons which we find both confusing and unnatural. Nevertheless, we submit to you, as we have done before, yet another request to clarify your position on the matter as to whether you seek the assistance and involvement of this Office or not. Having honored more explicit declarations of humanity’s professed independence from the Office before, we would advise you to answer in the affirmative for help, as answers in the negative have lead to a gross proliferation of the aforementioned hell of which you seek to rid yourself. We here at the Ministry would like to add a personal note to say that we find the whole back-and-forth to be a most tiresome and interminable affair, though we respect the Office of Trinitarian Majesty’s insistence on maintaining its promises to usher in glory at an unspecified time. We admit to being puzzled by the Office’s apparent relishing of and love for humanity, though we have come to accept the fact that certain things are to be peered into only and not understood at this time.

In closing, we reiterate our inability to cancel 2020 as the matter pertains to designs and plans relevant to Offices much higher up than ours. In the meantime, we encourage you to reconsider the substantial benefits package to be found in union with the Office of Trinitarian Majesty, available to you at anytime free of charge. For further information, please contact one our field agents or feel free to reach out directly to the Office of Trinitarian Majesty for more favorable results.”