Make America Grade Again!

You see, there are these tests. Piles of tests, an absolute nightmare. These exams, they are choking the life out of professors. I remember when we did not have these tests. You know, I have it on good authority that these tests, from these freshmen, they are terrible. Terrible! If we want to Make America Grade Again, we have to deal with these tests.

I have a plan. I am going to build a great big wall, a beautiful wall. And, guess what, the students–they are going to pay for it. Why? Because I can make them. How? I am the best grader. I will hire the best graders. We will do so much grading that these exams–the students have never seen anything like this before.

So, once we have this big, this beautiful, this luxurious wall, that the students are going to pay for, I promise, I will handle these blue books. I will raise them high, way high, so far above my head. You know how? I have long, long arms. My arms are so long. They are really the longest arms that have ever existed. I mean, there is the Great Wall of China and my arms, the two longest things in the world.

I am going to take those tests and throw them down, so hard, with such force, with unimaginable force. I will deport those tests to the other side of my wall, the F side of my wall and there they will stay. They will stay on the F side of the wall, but I promise that those tests can apply to come on my side of the wall, the A side of the wall, once they go through the proper process, appeal, and receive a change of grade form. There will not be too many of these change of grade forms, but only a limited number so we can make sure to take the best, the brightest of the F tests and make them A tests.

Only this way can we Make America Grade Again.