The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (SFGMC) recently published a song titled “A Message From The Gay Community.”  The group has received criticism for their apparent efforts to “teach[ing] young people to speak out against anti-LGBTQ hate” (Statement from GLAAD’s President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis in support of San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus). In response to such criticism, the group claims that the song’s lyrics are “satirical and obviously tongue-in-cheek humor.”  They invite “everyone to judge for themselves” the merits of the song.  I’ll take them up on that offer. 

From the first line, the song clearly identifies its intended audience as Christian conservative parents: “You think we’re sinful…you think that we’ll corrupt your kids.”  Their audience is clearly an antagonist (conservative, not leftist) who is concerned about “sin” (not a secularist).  This audience doesn’t change throughout the song. At no point are the lyrics redirected towards the children themselves, as GLAAD implies in its support statement.  These lyrics are not intended to persuade children to celebrate the gay lifestyle; it is a message from the gay community directed to Christian conservative parents. 

The main message of the song identifies both a problem the gay community sees in Christian parents, and a solution.  The problem: fear.  SFGMC sings to Christian parents: “you’re just frightened/You think that we’ll corrupt your kids;” “you worried/they’ll change their group of friends;” “you don’t have to worry/’cause there’s nothing wrong with/standing by our side;” “giving up the fear inside/Is freeing like you never knew!”.  SFGMC ridicules their opponents by mischaracterizing their argument as rooted in an emotion (fear), rather than reason. 

The solution to that emotional problem, according to SFGMC: capitalize on that fear by threatening indoctrination and conversion of children.  The lines “We’ll convert your children” and “We’re coming for them” are repeated more than any others in the song (12 appearances).  The authors claim that using children as tools to force Christian conservatives into becoming an ally of the gay agenda is humorous. 

The perception of the problem and the solution are both mismarked.  Not everyone who disagrees with the Gay Agenda does so out of fear.  While I cannot speak for all Christian conservative parents, let me be clear for myself: as a Christian mother, I am not afraid of the Gay Agenda.  I already know that the gay community is trying to influence my children. Indeed, perhaps the only funny part of the song is the use of a future verb. Ironically, the Gay Agenda is not coming for our children, it has already come.  Part of the lyrics nod the hat to this reality, “And the world’s getting kinder/Gen Z’s gayer than Grindr.”

I am not afraid of scare tactics like silly songs sung by grown men who have given up trying to rationally persuade the other side of the value or goodness of their life choices, and perhaps be persuaded in turn.  I am not afraid of the LGBTQ children’s books in our local library (targeting children as young as pre-k).  I am not afraid of the legal requirements in some states that mandate LGBT history lessons in public schools (CA, NJ, CO, OR, IL), or the tolerance and diversity training of children occurring in many public schools.  I am not afraid of the billboards celebrating LGBTQ+ pride, posted in neighborhoods where we live and take walks. I am not afraid of the increasing representation of LGBTQ+ in children’s movies and television shows.  I am not afraid of raising children in a culture that takes the month of June to celebrate LGBTQ+ rights and accomplishments. 

I am not afraid because I know that, as great as the sin is in the culture, it is just as great here at home, in my heart and in my children’s.  My job as a mother is to battle that sin first.  I am called to teach my children what is true and good.  Whatever its intentions, the world cannot teach my children unless I let it. And I will not freely forsake my responsibility for another to step into that void. 

Most importantly, I am not afraid because, even as it looks like the celebration and participation in sin grows more blatant and powerful in our culture, God remains the same.  He is still more than capable of forgiving our sin, of convicting us of sin, of helping us to resist the temptation to sin.  I am raising my children to know this good and sovereign God.  By grace, He will help them to navigate the culture.

The song is also wrong in characterizing the gay community’s solution as “humor.”  The satire falls as merely a bully tool, aimed at coercion rather than persuasion.  We are expected to laugh it off if we are offended by the unbared threats to our children and role as parents. By characterizing the lyrics as satire (the humor really isn’t obvious—what part of these lyrics does the gay community not actually believe?), adding a flippant “LOL JK” in the face of negative reaction, SFGMC shuts down an opportunity to engage civilly with each other about our differences of view.

And we do have significant different views about the virtues needed for living together in community.  SFGMC wants to teach my children to be “tolerant and fair […] not to hate […] to care about fairness and justice for others […] to try a little pride.” Each of these values define a vision of the society and community they want to live in.  I’m training my children to pursue a different type of community.  I am teaching my children to love people and hate sin, especially their own.  I am teaching them humility, not pride.  I am teaching them that life is not fair; it’s not meant to be, because justice isn’t concerned with fairness.  Justice is concerned with giving each of us what we deserve.  Justice “is truthful, proportional, direct, and impartial” in that effort of finding out what is our due (Allie Beth Stuckey). This view of justice helps people to flourish in a community with each other because it rightly accounts for our individuality and free will choice-making. 

If the gay community thinks that these virtues are inadequate or wrong, let them use reasonable tactics to persuade me otherwise, or let them agree to disagree.  Whatever you do, stop threatening my children. It’s laughable.